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Published on November 1, 2021

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Higher EQ supports happiness and success

According to Harvard Division of Continuing Development, research suggests that people with higher emotional intelligence are more innovative, have higher job satisfaction, are more trusted, create more rapport and are generally more successful and happier.

“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.”

Daniel Goleman

So, if people with higher emotional intelligence are happier and successful, then how can we increase our emotional intelligence? Let’s start first with understanding emotional intelligence, or EQ for short. Perhaps it should be EI, although EQ sounds better when we think of it in contrast to IQ, the abbreviation for Intellectual Quotient.

Understanding Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EQ) refers to the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions. Daniel Goleman has written extensively on emotional intelligence and how it can be increased. In his opinion, intelligence (IQ) determines the types of jobs you can pursue, emotional intelligence (EQ) and social intelligence (SQ) determine how well you will succeed within your chosen profession.

Intelligence (IQ) determines the types of jobs you can pursue

Emotional intelligence (EQ) determines how well you will succeed within your chosen profession

Social intelligence (SQ) is the ability to act wisely whilst maintaining human relations

Many researchers have considered the contribution of emotional intelligence and concluded that it is often more important than IQ in determining success at work, as well as increased levels of fulfillment and happiness.

Your social intelligence is also important, being in tune with your emotions serves a social purpose by connecting us to other people and the world around us.

Emotional Intelligence supports your happiness and social intelligence makes you a better leader!

The 4 domains of Emotional Intelligence

Self-Awareness

• Self-awareness is the ability to identify and understand your own emotions and the
  impact we have on others.
• Being aware of your own emotions and the behaviours they trigger enables you to
  manage them.
• People who are self-aware tend to be more confident and more creative. They also make
  better decisions, build stronger relationships, and communicate more effectively

emotional self-awareness – accurate self-assessment – self confidence

Self-Management

• Once we’re aware of our emotions, we can begin to manage them and keep the
  disruptive emotions and impulses under control
• People with strong self-regulation can pause and take a deep breath in tense and stressful situations which helps them remain calm and think before they speak or act
• Organisations with high turner often have an issue in this area with their employees

emotional self-control – transparency – adaptability – resilience
achievement – initiative – optimism

Social Awareness

• Social awareness is the ability to understand the emotions of others and a key
  component of this is empathy
• Critical skill when managing teams of people to deliver complex outcomes
• Required skill for successful leadership

empathy – organisational awareness – service

Relationship Management

• Skills including influence, conflict management, teamwork, and the ability to inspire
  others
• These skills make it possible to build and maintain healthy relationships in all parts of your life
• Make the best leaders and tend towards kindness, are able to inspire the team and also provide difficult feedback in an empathetic manner

inspirational – visionary – influential – change catalyst

The impacts of EQ in 4 domains

EQ affects the four main domains of our lives, and the higher your EQ, generally the better you can perform in all areas.

Your performance at work – high emotional intelligence helps you to manage and interpret the social complexities of the workplace; lead and motivate others; and excel in your career. Many companies include emotional intelligence assessment tools when selecting new employees. Your mental health – uncontrolled emotions and high levels of stress can impact your mental wellbeing. This makes you vulnerable to anxiety and depression. If you’re unable to understand, and manage your emotions, you’ll also struggle to form strong relationships. This can lead to increased feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Your physical health – being able to manage your emotions supports you to better manage your stress. If you’re not managing your stress and have low levels of resilience, then you are more likely to suffer from serious health problems such high blood pressure, heart problems, strokes, infertility, and accelerated ageing. Your relationships – when you understand your emotions and develop the ability to manage them then you increase both your empathy and your ability to express your own emotions in a constructive way. These abilities support better communicate and the ability to develop stronger relationships, both at work and in your personal life.

Tips to increase your emotional intelligence

1. Identify what you are feeling – recognise your specific emotions and the underlying cause, especially of negative emotions that are impacting your physical and mental health

2. Develop awareness and gain perspective – greatly assisted by a mindfulness practice that emphasises gratitude and kindness

3. Acknowledge and appreciate your emotions – understand rather than deny your feelings and look for the root cause to amplify positive emotions or resolve negative emotions

4. Interpret your emotions – understand your emotions and consider the feedback and information being provided

5. Regulate your emotions – consider how you want to respond to negative emotions (yours and those of others) and select a more positive response that doesn’t aggravate a situation

6. Recognise and understand the emotions of others – this ability improves as you understand your own emotions

7. Develop the capacity for empathy – increased awareness of other people’s emotions, ask questions and seek to understand so you can find common ground

8. Pick up emotional cues – apply emotional skills to interpersonal relationships to develop more positive relationships and increase social connectedness

9. Develop flexibility and self-control – find ways to be gently assertive and respectful without falling into negative emotions

Emotional self-regulation cycle

This super simple process will greatly improve your ability to work with emotions – both yours and those of others. This in turn will increase your EQ.

1. Step 1 – Acknowledge the emotion and consider the exact emotion, identify it to expand your repertoire

2. Step 2 – Determine the root cause so you can choose positive action to resolve negative situations

3. Step 3 – Consider the feedback being provided by the emotion

4. Step 4 – Select a positive response that will resolve or diffuse negative emotions

Start again and this will soon become an automatic cycle that determines your response pattern whenever you feel or encounter negative emotions.

About the author…

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